Jars of clay

I woke up this morning to the sound of waves crashing against the shore, and the smell of mum's freshly brewed coffee. Its’ gone be a good day. It’s on days like today that I like to write. There is no need to wolf down my breakfast or rush to catch a train. But today, as I begin typing, I realise it’s been the longest time since I’ve written anything other than academic papers.

I have been on placement in a mental health organisation since November, which has been a steep learning curve for me as I’ve little experience from the mental health sector. Nevertheless, empowering others is an amazing feeling, especially when done genuinely. Skills are important, but, sometimes, I wonder if I am relying on God less and less in the areas where I think my own capabilities suffice. I sense that, sometimes, I am trying to fit God into a box of my own making, telling Him what needs to be done to make me happy. It’s in this place that Paul’s words ‘we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us’ really come to life for me. I am an empty jar. He is my treasure. And as for those flaws and cracks in my clay pot, they are not to be frowned upon, because they are there for a reason. The cracks allow the light of God to stream through.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)

Grace is one of those wonderful things I don’t have to earn. I know many Christians who embody ‘grace’ yet somehow throughout history the church has managed to gain a reputation for it’s lack of grace. Sometimes Christians are so at ease with the language of religion, moral values, church talk, that they sometimes, inadvertently, claim to own God. As if Christianity can be narrowed down to two or three issues; as if the Holy Spirit can be bought and sold. I will not explore or debate the historical examples here, but my point is that Christianity isn’t as simple as ‘text book’ answers. What does it mean to be a Christian today? Is it about going to church and being a “good” person i.e. someone who loves the right kind of things in the right kind of way with the right kind of love? Or about something else entirely?

A friend of mine passed away this year. There were no farewells or chances to express how big a difference her life made to mine. I went to Copenhagen to spend some time with her family who were grieving the loss of a sister, daughter, mother, friend. I didn't know what to say; just joined in with the family in the hope that, at some small level, my presence was a support to them, and helped them to know that I, too, would miss her an awful lot. All of our experiences with her can be remembered, celebrated or regretted, but they can never be retrieved. Life is one of those things in which you can only move forward, but the good news is that you can take the love with you. I can honestly say, that it was God who helped me in coming to terms with her death. You know those moments when a beam of light reflects through the clouds and you go ‘wow’? I know without a shadow of doubt that every ounce of healing I have ever received has been from the boundless healing fountain of God. The God that keeps on giving and doesn’t withdraw, even though I have turned my back on Him a thousand times.

It’s not about going to church or being morally superior. Neither is it necessarily about striving to have more; because when God establishes His upside-down Kingdom ... less is more. Christianity is about relationship, intimacy and newness of life (Romans 6:8).

At the same time, I am also aware that I need to examine myself daily for pride and a self centeredness that often motivate my thoughts and actions, but even then ‘His eye is on the sparrow’. As John Ortberg highlights, trying and failing, learning from failure, and trying again works so much better than waiting for perfection. And, for me, this process is fuelled by the knowledge that the grace of God sustains me throughout.

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Rom 8:38-39).

It’s one of my favourite scriptures because it speaks of a God who wants to restore us to intimacy. Philip Yancey tells a story about the shocking accessibility that the word ‘Abba’ contains. One time during JFK’s presidency, cabinet members were debating world politics seated around the president’s desk when, suddenly, a toddler, little 2 year old John-John crawls on top of the presidential desk completely oblivious to protocol. No one could barge into the Oval Office to see the president without an appointment, but John-John was simply visiting his ‘daddy’ much to his father’s delight. Restoring intimacy.

So being ‘authentic’ is good. Not having to always say the ‘right’ thing is great. We are all cracked jars of clay. Don’t try to fix them, just allow God to use them. Releasing hurt is healing. Forgiving others is liberating. If you find yourself in a situation where you’re holding on to pain or hurt, consider letting go, or forgiving if that’s what your situation calls for. “When we genuinely forgive” Lewis Smedes says “we set a prisoner free and then discover that the prisoner we set free was us”.

Throughout, the grace of God sustains...

I leave with you one of my favourite songs (just because!)

You Are For Me